Thursday, October 16, 2008

Nervous.

That's what I am. Nervous, anxious, worried, fearful. Brooklyn's bronchoscopy and endoscopy are tomorrow.

I am afraid because Dr. G, the first pulmonologist we saw, really scared us about having a bronchoscopy performed on Brooklyn. This was back in July. I talked about it here. Dr. G told us in a very flippant way that he would do the procedure on Brooklyn but that we needed to know that he could paralyze her vocal cords or puncture her lungs or that she could have horrible complications from the anesthesia. And that's pretty much all he told us about the procedure. Other doctors have since told us that they think that Dr. G2 was afraid to do the bronchoscopy on such a small baby, so he scared us out of it. We didn't have it done then. We were scared and we also didn't want to put her through anything that she didn't absolutely need. So here we are, the tests have gotten progressively more invasive and she now has to have the bronchoscopy, along with an endoscopy. I keep wondering if they really are going to paralyze her vocal cords. What if I never get to hear her sweet little voice again? Or what if something worse happens from a lung puncture or something like that? My stomach just ties itself into a million little knots. I hate the idea of her being in a surgical room under anesthesia and with a breathing tube in her to begin with....but then add all of these other fears into the mix....I'm just scared.

I guess my other fear is that they will do these procedures tomorrow and still not know what is causing Brooklyn's respiratory problems (and consequently, her failure to thrive). I don't want to put her through any more of this. I am trying to have faith that we will have our answer tomorrow, and that her doctors will know what to do to fix everything. Dr. G2 and Dr. R will be doing these procedures. I know that they are experts and that they are good at what they do. It's just hard to trust anyone with your little baby like that.

We have to be at the hospital in Dallas by noon tomorrow. Please keep my sweet baby bear in your prayers.

11 comments:

Cibele said...

Oh my friend, HUGS!!! I will be praying that all goes well (I am sure it will).

And Baby Makes Three said...

Prayers from St. Louis to Brooklyn, Daddy and You!

Claire says to tell Brooklyn not to be scared...the nurses in the PICU and NICU are like angels that keep them safe when you're not there...( :

Hope said...

Please try to stay calm. They have to tell you everything that could happen, but those things are rare. Ava had them done and she did great. The worst part is them being groggy/grumpy from the meds. Try to stay positive. This time tomorrow it will be over and you will know what is or isn't wrong with Brooklyn. Both of those are great news. If you get really nervous tomorrow, you can text or call me. (just email me for my number). Isn't she being admitted for the night?

Beth & Steven said...

Thinking of you! I'm sure everything will go smoothly and hopefully you'll have some more info. Sending lots of hugs to you and Brooklyn!

edie & ella said...

I will be thinking about you and Brooklyn tomorrow.....please update ASAP.
I just wanted to help ease your mind a little...I am an RN and have assisted with both endoscopies and bronchoscopies...
First of all Dr Gasshole should never have put the "rare" complications to you the way he did...Drs are obligated to tell you the worst case scenario BUT those things so rarely happen. It's not impossible but it's highly unlikely. Both procedures are relatively quick so she should be in and out fast. She should not have a breathing tube.....keep in mind both scopes go down the same area where they would place a breathing tube. The bronch scope would have to go down the same "pipe" her trachea so there would not be any room for a breathing tube. They will likely use conscious sedation...she will be asleep but not put under...so there are alot less risks associated and she will be awake and ready to go sooner than if they put her under general anesthesia. I know you are going to worry regardless of what I tell you..it's only natural. But it will be nice to have this all over with and hopefully an answer tomorrow.......take care and good luck......sam

Amanda said...

Hey Sam,
I hope that you are right. We had to go for her pre-op last Friday and the anesthesiologist who came and talked to us said that she would be "completely sedated" - he said they use a gas and then an IV - so I'm not sure what that means, maybe you know. And when he was telling us about risks, he mentioned her being sore from the breathing tube. So I don't know. What you said makes total sense. I feel so ignorant about pretty much everything medical....

Kate said...

Lots of prayers for all of you!

Tori said...

I definitely will pray for her and for you too! Good luck.

MrsSpock said...

I hope everything goes well- you'll both be in my good thoughts.

Sam said...

I keep checking in to see if you have updated. I hope everything went well.

travis.hill said...

Your a great writer and inspiration. I've a son with tracheomalacia and we've battled a lot of the same. I'll check back often to keep up to date. If you have any questions please feel free to contact me through Tracheomalaica.org

All The Best,

Travis

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