Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Weight check

So today we returned to the pediatrician, Dr. A., for Brooklyn's weekly weight check. Last week, she weighed 10 pounds, 4.5 ounces. The doctor said that she should be gaining between 4 and 7 ounces per week. Today, she weighed...

10 pounds, 4 ounces. She lost half an ounce.

Damnit.

We had followed the doctor's advice by increasing the amount of powder we put in her formula. Brooklyn is primarily breastfed, but we had such a hard time with it in the beginning that my supply has just never been quite what it should be. She probably gets about 2 bottles of formula per day, and the rest is pumped breastmilk and breastmilk straight from the source. Dr. A. had increased the formula powder so that Brooklyn would get 25 calories per ounce instead of 20. No improvement.

Dr. A. said that he had a discussion with our pedicatric pulmonologist last week in which the pulmonologist said that he wants me to quit breastfeeding. That if I want to give her breastmilk, it should be pumped and given to her in a bottle so that she isn't burning so many calories while actually feeding from the breast. Which is quite time consuming....and would be fine if I were staying at home with her. For the first two months of her life I had to breastfeed Brooklyn, supplement her with formula or pumped milk, then pump. Every two hours. As soon as I was finished with that, it was practically time for the next feeding. I don't see how this is possible to do while I'm working. I'm struggling to make time to pump twice during my work day.

This is really upsetting for me because:
1. I am worried about what could be wrong...I mean, I know the tracheomalacia and reflux make it hard for her to gain weight...but I am worried about what else could be going on...
2. I am failing as a mother because I can't get my baby to gain weight...
3. I have worked too effin hard to make breastfeeding work for us to just give it up...
4. I know that breastmilk is the best thing for Brooklyn, and her health problems make it all the more important for her.

Dr. A. says that I have "a little bit of time"...a week or 2....to decide what I am going to do about the breastfeeding situation.

The treatment plan at this point is as follows:
-We will increase the formula to 30 calories per ounce.
-We will give her at least one more bottle of formula per day (I am thinking this will probably get puked up because of the reflux).
-Dr. A increased her Zantac to 0.8 ml, 3x per day.
-The pulmonologist is supposed to call us tomorrow (yeah, we'll see if that really happens) to move her appointment up. Brooklyn was supposed to see him on July 30. They are supposed to get us in this week. Brooklyn will have the scope (bracheoscopy) done at this next appointment :(
-She will also probably have to have an MRI. She will have to be sedated for this as well. They are looking for "anatomical abnormalities," such as a cardiac vessel that can sometimes wrap around the airway and constrict it).
-We will continue to have weight checks.

Sigh.

This is so frustrating. Why can't something as seemingly simple as a baby gaining weight be any easier? Why can't I just do this right?

5 comments:

edie & ella said...

Sweetie.. I am sorry that this weight gain issue is such a problem for you and Brooklyn BUT you can't own this. You are a wonderful mommy -- you are NOT failing. You must be worried so much about this all and hopefully they will get to the bottom of this soon. Like this week at that appointment. Try to realize that you are a great mommy -- you ARE NNNNOOOOTTTT FAILING. Sam

And Baby Makes Three said...

Don't be so hard on yourself...I can't imagine your frustration with the weight issue. You are a great mom, Brooklyn is so lucky to have you taking care of her. Hang in there...and keep up the pumping!

Hope said...

I'm sorry she's having a rough time. I wonder what type of scope they're using? Ava had to be admitted and sedated for hers, which was done at Children's Hosp. surgery and she had to stay for 36 hours afterwards. I wish her's was more like Brooklyn's!!! Good luck!

Cibele said...

I am so sorry. In the beginning Lyla had a hard time gaining weight too. I remember going to those weight checks and being so frustrated and feeling like a failure as well. I had lots of problems breastfeeding, I tried but I could only get her to gain weight with formula because of my very small supply. It is a very difficult decision to make but i am sure that you will make the right one (whatever that is for you and your baby). HUGS

Jennifer, Playgroups Are No Place For Children said...

You are NOT FAILING!

My daughter is 14 months old and only barely 16 pounds. I know our kids are different and their situations are different, but just wanted you to know I've been through the same type of situation.

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