Friday, December 12, 2008

Decision day

Brooklyn will see her pulmonologist, Dr. G2, in Dallas this morning. He is supposed to give us the verdict on whether or not Brooklyn will have to have surgery on her airway. There are times when I think that she is getting a little better...a few more brief periods throughout the day that I don't hear her stridor. Then there are days when it is nonstop and as loud as ever, especially when she is asleep, like right now. So when asked the question, "Has she improved?", our answer will probably be something like, "Well...I don't know...sort of...sometimes...but not really...maybe a little...maybe not."

I am still very conflicted about Baby Bear having the surgery. I know I have touched on this before, but I am just so sick of putting her through all of these procedures. She has already gone through so much. Surgery terrifies me...I hated it last time. It was so scary to know that my baby was under anesthesia with breathing tubes down her throat...and there are always risks. Especially with someone who is so tiny. And from what I have read and been told, this particular surgical procedure could make her breathing problems worse. Some pulmonologists won't even perform it. But if it really is something that could fix all of her problems and make her life easier, am I a terrible mother for hesitating to do it? Brooklyn deserves to be free of all this. She deserves to be able to breathe without working so hard. She should be able to grow big and strong and be the size of other babies her age. If this surgery would allow her to do all of those things and make her healthy, what kind of mommy wouldn't do it?

Maybe we won't have to make those choices. Maybe Dr. G2 will tell us that since Brooklyn is on the growth charts now, we can keep waiting to see if she will outgrow it on her own?

We will find out in about 10 hours.

10 comments:

Carrie27 said...

What a tough decision. I know whatever you decide, it will be the best decision for Brooklyn.

Hope said...

I'll be thinking of you today. I hope you get the answers you want. Please keep us posted when you get home, if you can:) I love the 9 mth picture of her in the previous post. Cute!

momofonefornow said...

I'm with you, I would want to wait as long as possible.

Rachel said...

I can't even imagine making that decision. I hope it goes well.

Sam said...

I'm thinking of you and Brooklyn today, and hoping that the appointment goes well. You wouldn't be a good mother if you weren't struggling with the decision to have surgery. It is a hard choice, and you are smart to not make it lightly.

Cibele said...

Hoping for good news!!

MrsSpock said...

I hope you got good news today!

Beth said...

I'm thinking of you and your sweet little baby bear...

Liz said...

Ok, so what was the verdict? I'm curious!

edie & ella said...

so what's the verdict???? Surgery or not??? fingers are crossed for NOT!!!
Regarding the elf...it was sent to us by Edies godmother...I am not sure where she got it but I will ask her and let you know...what a fun idea though. Right?

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