Monday, May 11, 2009

My disappointing Mother's Day

Today it is dreary and drizzly outside, and it just seems appropriate. I am just having one of those days.

Mother's Day was really disappointing for me. My husband is usually so great about making me feel special and planning sweet little surprises on important days. But yesterday, he said nothing about Mother's Day. We had been up for a couple of hours when I finally asked him if he knew what day it was. "Yeah, it's Mama's Day," he replied. And that was that.

I didn't need him to make a big huge deal out of the day or anything. I didn't need him to buy me an expensive present or plan anything elaborate. I just needed him to acknowledge the day. To give me a card from my daughter or something like that, since she isn't old enough to do so herself. Just to tell me that he knows how hard I am working to be a great mommy to our sweet baby girl. Just....something.

Instead, I pretty much ended up feeling like I must be doing such a shitty job as a mom that I wasn't worthy of a Mother's Day sentiment. If it wasn't for my daily dose of the emotion-stifling Lexapro, I think I would have been doing a lot of crying yesterday. Last night, while my husband slept soundly beside me, I laid in bed staring at the ceiling fan and feeling increasingly worse about myself and my (lack of?) motherly abilities. Today, I feel like I have a hangover from the sadness and disappointment of yesterday. And the weather seems to understand.

8 comments:

edie & ella said...

AMANDA...(yes I am yelling).....you are a fabulous mommy!!! Don't let your husband make you feel inadequate...men can be so selfish! My husband brought a pack of sausage home when he came home from work and asked my to cook it...while he fell asleep on the couch. Yet if someone asked him to play golf he would stay up for 2 days straight.
I too was feeling like I had a horrible Mothers Day....too bad we don't live near each other we could have taken the girls out to dinner.....
You ARE doing a great job....unless your blog posts are all fabricated....which I highly doubt.....
Hang in there.....be thankful for Brooklyn and Lexapro.......and phooey on the men for now!!!

Hope said...

((Hugs))
Happy Mother's Day, Amanda! You are an amazing Mother. I've been telling you that for months.

Men basically suck and I'm allergic to them;)

Sarah said...

I did get a card, but it was a card that was for "Mother from Both". Clearly he didn't even take the time to read the damn thing AND he even took $5 cash (that was mine)off the counter on his way out the door (that morning) to buy it. Sometimes they really, REALLY suck. I mean, R*E*A*L*L*Y suck. You're an awesome mommy, and deep down YOU KNOW IT!!! But it is nice to be acknowledged sometimes, I know.

So, here you go...

HAPPY MOMMA'S DAY FROM ME (and Claire) to YOU (and Brooklyn)!!!

And just think, without you and all your wonderful, dedicated, loving, caring, appointment keeping, night-time cuddling, diaper-bag packing, bottle-making, dinner-making, house cleaning, laundry washing/folding/putting away motherly duties Brooklyn wouldn't be the beautiful, thriving, happy, smart amazing little girl that she is.

((HUGS TO YOU))

Liz said...

Dang it. Tell Dave to get his booty into the front yard. I'm coming over to kick his tail! :)

Love ya honey! You're a great mama!

MrsSpock said...

Boo! Naughty, naughty husband!You are a great mama!

Beth said...

My Mother's Day wasn't the greatest, either. Let's just say that my husband made 2 trips to the grocery store and came home empty handed (as far as flowers, balloons, etc.) go each time. And he KNOWS I love that stuff. I did get cards (which I had to remind him to buy the day before!) but they were kinda lame (just between you and I). I felt disappointed, too, and almost relieved when the day was over. I'm just so thankful to have my mom and my little love when all is said & done.

And, by the way, you seem to be an AMAZING, caring, dedicated, loving, INCREDIBLE mama. I'm sure you husband knows this, too. I bet he'll make it up to you next Mother's Day!!! :)

Cibele said...

AMANDA listn to me, you are a FANTASTIC , AWESOME , LOVING, CARING mother... Don't let him make you feel this way. HApy Mother's day from Lyla and I and I am sure if your little girl could she would give you a card that said: BEST MOMMY EVER!!

JAMIE ANN said...

I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND. I AM SORRY MEN CAN BE THAT WAY. SEEMS MORE SO WHEN KIDS COME ALONG. SINCE OUR DAUGHTER WAS BORN IN 05 I DONT EVEN GET A HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANYMORE. IT IS HARD FOR US WOMEN TO UNDERSTAND OR THINK THAT WAY. WE ARE SO MUCH OF THE OPPISITE. WELL MOST OF US. I GO OUT OF MY WAY TO DO SOMETHING SMALL OR THE KIDS MAKE SOMETHING. I WILL PRAY THAT SOMETHING HAPPENDS FOR THE NEXT BIG DAY FOR YOU. BLOGGER FRIEND.

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